A Failed Attempt At A Party
by momoxtoshiro
Summary: Rukia is throwing a Halloween party! Ichigo, Hitsugaya, Hinamori and...someone else show up to play a series of crack-ish games. Late Halloween-ish fic. HitsuHina and IchiRuki. Enjoy!


**A/N: Okay so this was a Halloween fic that was supposed to go up on Halloween. But I COMPLETELY forgot about it XDD I was just going through my stuff and said, "Oh...oops..." So yeah its HitsuHina and IchiRuki. **

**It is pretty much my Halloween party this year which was SO crack-ish and my friend (), cousin (Sasukez {who else? lol}), sister (BakakonekoRKL) and I all agreed that someone should make it into a fanfic. Sasukez said "I totally would, but I have a whole notebook full of plotbunnies." {It's true she has over 150!}. said "I can't write fanfictions for my life." And Bakakoneko said "I don't want to xp." So of course it was up to me and of course it was Bleach.**

**I actually think it is pretty bad and is a failed attempt at a humor fic. Maybe one of you will like it...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Do not sue/arrest/kill me plzkaythx!**

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A Failed Attempt At A Party

"I _really _don't think this is a good idea." Hitsugaya Toshiro was walking down a street in Seireitei.

Or rather, he was being dragged.

Hinamori Momo pranced ahead of him, a huge grin on her face and her aura pulsed with excitement.

They had been invited to a Halloween party that was being thrown by Rukia, who had gotten permission to use a large room of the 13th division's building for a get-together. She had invited many people, but most others had obligations, so only 5 people would be there altogether.

"Oh c'mon, Shiro-chaaaan!" Hinamori dragged out his pet name playfully. "Don't be like that! This'll be fun!" She insisted, grasping his arm tightly and tugging him forward.

Hitsugaya snorted, but on the inside he smiled slightly. He had to admit that he did not mind going all that much if she was going too; but there were _5_ people going. Aside from himself, Hinamori, Rukia and, of course, Ichigo, there was one other Shinigami attending.

_Honestly._ The 10th Squad captain thought sourly. _Of _all_ the people to have free time today and that could be able to go…_

"Yeah! C'mon, taichou! It'll be fun!" Matsumoto repeated, purposely trying to annoy him. He opened his mouth to make a snappy reply, but his lieutenant nudged him forward roughly and deliberately pushed him into Hinamori. The two friends bumped into each other and stumbled a bit before regaining their balance.

"Matsumoto!" He growled, a slight blush covering his face as well as Hinamori's. The older woman just grinned and quickened her pace to avoid him. Hitsugaya scowled after her, but said nothing more.

The three continued on their way in silence until they finally reached the 13th division building. They entered and walked through the hallways, searching for the room they had been instructed to go to. Finally, when they reached it, they paused outside the closed door.

Hinamori released Hitsugaya's arm and stepped onto the mat below the door. But before she could knock, the mat under her feet burst out into evil laughing and screeching as soon as she put weight on it. She squealed in surprise and leaped backwards, crashing into the white haired boy behind her. His aqua eyes widened and he tried to catch her as she tripped, but he was not fast enough. The two friends fell to the floor together and Matsumoto stepped back and made no move to help them. She just smiled manically and giggled as they crashed to the floor.

It took Hinamori a moment to realize what had happened but when she did her cheeks flushed cherry. "G-G-Gomen, Hitsugaya-kun!" She gasped as she pulled herself off of him. He blinked and pushed himself up to a sitting position beside her. Before he could reply, he froze and looked up as the door slid open and Rukia Kuchiki popped her head out.

"Gotcha!" She boasted triumphantly and grinned down at them. Then she blinked in confusion as she saw the captain and lieutenant on the ground together. "A-Ano, what hap-?" She started to ask, but Matsumoto cut her off.

"Oh don't mind them, Rukia-chan, they're just having some _fun_." She winked. "We should give them some _alone _time." She stepped over the laughing doormat and into the room past Rukia. The black haired girl blinked in confusion, but stepped forward and reached her hand down. Hinamori took it and Rukia pulled her up while an angered captain stood up by himself and deciphered whether to kill his lieutenant or not for her annoying perverted-ness.

"Are you two okay?" Rukia asked. "I'm sorry. I got this in the Living World." She explained, tapping the mat lightly under her foot. "I thought it would be fun to freak people out with since no one in this world knows about this kind of thing. But I didn't know it would startle you so much." She apologized, mainly to the other girl, embarrassed to be in this situation with the captain of Squad 10.

"No, it's alright, Kuchiki-san!" Hinamori assured her friend. "I just had no idea! How does it _do_ that?" She asked in wonder.

"I have no clue!" Rukia smiled, sounding almost proud of her little knowledge of the items she purchased.

Hitsugaya fumed silently at his lieutenant in his mind, but followed the two girls into the room, carefully avoiding the cackling mat. Inside the room, there were several orange and black streamers dangling from the ceiling, with a few bats and pumpkins scattered about. A smoke machine puffed gray clouds in the corner of the room, giving the room a creepy touch. Ichigo stood from a chair and stretched.

"Finally, everyone's here." He grumbled. Rukia jabbed him in the side.

"Shut up!" Don't sound so bored! You're supposed to be having fun you idiot!" She snapped.

"Hey! _You're _the one who brought me here against my will!" He protested.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She nodded dismissively, ignoring him. "Okay! Who wants to play some games?" She asked.

"Games?" Ichigo repeated. "That's so stupid. Why would we wanna play-?"

"Games?!" Matsumoto perked up. "Like what?" She sounded eager.

She had a few tricks of her own that she wanted to test out on the two couples.

"Well at least _someone _is showing some interest." Rukia mumbled, glaring at the orange haired boy. "First off, I found out about this human game called an egg toss-"

"Wait, wait!" Ichigo interrupted, much to her annoyance. "That has _nothing _at all to do with Halloween!"

"Well…too bad!" She huffed under her breath, out of earshot of the other three Shinigami.

"Y-You just want to try playing these games! Not celebrate!" He accused.

"Well yes, I wanted to try them! I was curious! And there's never enough people around for them, so now that we have enough we can try them out."

"So you're just using them?" He clarified, motioning to the others whom were now all standing and staring confusedly at the two.

"Yes…well sort of. And you too." She grinned evilly.

"Okay now listen, Rukia. You can't just go using people whenever you want for whatever you want. You-"

"Yosh! Everyone partner up!" Rukia exclaimed, walking away from Ichigo. "Well, actually, one person won't have a partner since we're odd." She noted. So naturally, Hinamori and Hitsugaya paired up. They had always been partners for everything since they were little, an attribute they had reserved ever since, even if they were not completely aware of it at all times. Matsumoto insisted that it was all right that she did not have a partner when Rukia had requesting sitting out.

"No, no." Matsumoto waved her hand. "You pair up with Ichigo and I'll watch or be the judge or something."

"Are you sure?" Rukia asked, a bit embarrassed at being with Ichigo.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't you worry your pretty little head." She smirked, ruffling the younger girl's hair.

Rukia, being the one in charge of the games, then instructed where they should all stand. Soon, the two girls and the two boys stood across from each other and Rukia handed each boy an egg.

"All right. So basically, we just have to throw the eggs back and forth until a team drops theirs." She explained, taking her place next to Hinamori.

Hitsugaya tried to look unenthusiastic, but he was actually a bit curious about the rules and games of humans. Hinamori was quivering slightly with nervousness and anticipation, while Ichigo just looked bored and uninterested. Matsumoto, who had already devised a mischievous plan in her head, watched from a distance with interest.

"Ready?" Rukia asked. The others nodded. "Okay, go!" Ichigo had played this game many times before, especially when he was little, with his sisters and father. So he was used to the rules and how to handle the egg and he tossed it lightly to Rukia. She cupped her hands and shifted a bit to have it roll softly into her palms, and she smirked with satisfaction. Then, she carefully measured the distance and threw the egg slightly upwards towards the taller boy's outstretched hands. They smoothly continued to toss the egg back and forth.

On the totally opposite hand, Hitsugaya was taking the game way too seriously. He measured the precise distance between himself and his partner and finally, after many calculations, threw the egg to Hinamori. She reached forwards and stumbled as she tried to cradle it in her hands. Then, she shakily tossed it back and Hitsugaya caught it with perfect speed.

After the first toss and catch, each Shinigami became more and more confident of their abilities to play the game. The room was silent and the air was blazing with quiet anxiety and fierce concentration.

Matsumoto wondered when she should strike. She decided on when Hitsugaya was about to throw the egg on his next turn. Up until this point, the lieutenant of Squad 10 had been silent so no one expected anything from her. When her captain was just about to throw the egg, she unexpectedly shouted.

"Don't drop it, taichou!" Shocked out of his concentration, Hitsugaya threw the egg off course and Hinamori strained to catch it. But she missed by a fraction of an inch and the shell collided with her left shoulder and she squeaked as it cracked open. The yellow yoke oozed onto her shihakushou and down her arm.

"Oh no!" She whimpered in dismay. Rukia and Ichigo stopped and Rukia put their undamaged egg on the table by the wall. "L-Let me clean it up!" The 5th Squad lieutenant insisted, glancing down at the broken shells on the floor.

"No, I'll do it." Hitsugaya offered, shooting a glare at his lieutenant that said, 'You are so dead', or something close to it.

"No." Rukia declined. "You're coming with me to get washed up." She nudged Hinamori. "It's fine, Hitsugaya Taichou, Ichigo will clean it up."

"H-Hey! Wait! What the-?"

"Come on, follow me Hinamori fukuutaichou." Rukia led the other girl out of the room, leaving Ichigo to clean up _and _prevent the death-battle between Hitsugaya and Matsumoto.

"You distracted me on purpose!" The captain growled.

"Well you weren't _supposed _to be distracted! You should have concentrated, taichou!"

"Matsumoto, I know its natural for you to be annoying but for just once could you try _not _to be?!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Ichigo shouted. "C'mon Toshiro, don't act so childish."

A long moment of silence floated by as Ichigo realized what he had said. _Oh damn it!_

"_What _was that, Kurosaki?" Hitsugaya looked up at the taller boy coolly.

"Oooo! You've done it now, Ichigo!" Matsumoto grinned, stepping back a bit.

"H-Hey, now h-h-hold on a second, Toshiro, t-that's not what I meant and you know it." Ichigo stammered, trying to act tough when he was actually terrified on what the captain could do to him.

"Did you just call me a _child_?" He asked dangerously, lowering the temperature of the room.

So the next 5 minutes were chaos and shouting and laughing. Rukia and Hinamori heard the commotion from the hallway and rushed in, ignoring the laughing doormat. The scene that they witnessed was Ichigo huddled in a corner with a fuming captain and a guffawing lieutenant. They asked no questions.

Once everyone had…recovered, Rukia announced that they would be starting their next game.

"Oh, _Hell _no!" Ichigo refused. Rukia argued and meanwhile Hitsugaya considered just leaving now, but then decided against it, frightened of what the consequences might be if he was caught.

"Fine!" Rukia huffed. "Then it'll just be us four!" She declared, indicating the other three guests. "You all want to play, _right_?" She glared at each Shinigami in turn. Hinamori trembled a bit but nodded, Matsumoto looked thoughtful and Hitsugaya just gave in.

"What's the next game?" Matsumoto asked, trying to think up a plan to mess with her friends.

"I'm glad you asked." Rukia smiled. "The next one is called 'Witch's Stew'. It takes a lot of sucking power." The black haired girl explained. Matsumoto saw here chance to being her harassment.

"Depends. What are we sucking?" She asked, barely holding back a laugh.

Rukia let a giggle slip through her lips until she regained her composure. "All right," She continued. "So this is how you play." She handed all four of them straws and took one for herself. "See these?" She picked up about 20 shapes cut from colored paper, ranging from pumpkins to spiders to bats. "Only two people can play at a time and each team has ten shapes. You have to suck in air through the straw and carry them and drop them into this bowl." She indicated a large black bowl on the table. "And then the other person on the team has to take them out." As she finished her instructions, she was met with four pairs of blank stares. "Oh come on!" She pressed. "You all know you want to try it!" She insisted. Ichigo just bent his straw and threw it in the garbage can.

"No way, midget." He said indifferently.

"Hey! Ichigo you-!" Hinamori held Rukia back as she tried to lung at the tall boy.

"Now, now Kuchiki-san, I'll play! Please don't hurt anyone." She pleaded, knowing how violent the raven-haired girl could get sometimes.

"Fine." Rukia grumbled.

As soon as the 13th Squad member had turned her back, Hitsugaya and Matsumoto discarded their straws as well. Matsumoto decided to be the ref.

"All right you two, on your marks, get set…go!" She called. Instantly, the two girls tried to suck in enough air to pick up the pieces of paper and move them into the bowl. But it was not as easy as it sounded. After about a minute, neither of them had moved any more than an inch.

"Wow, Bed-Wetter, you really suck at this!" Hitsugaya taunted.

"T-That's the point, Shiro-chan!" She gasped. "And don't call me that!"

"Hey!" Matsumoto smacked her captain on the head. "No distracting the players!" She scolded.

"Matsumoto!" The boy roared.

"S-S-Shhh!" Hinamori laughed. "I can't concentrate, Hitsugaya-kun!" She attempted to breathe in so she could pick up another piece, but her breathing was corrupted by her laughter.

"Yeah, _Shiro-chan_," By first hitting her captain on the head, and then using his pet name that only Hinamori and Ukitake were obliged to use, Matsumoto was jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

"OKAY NOW YOU'RE-!"

"Oy! Toshiro shut it!" Ichigo cut off the enraged taichou.

"Kurosaki! You too?! You want a piece of this?!" He threatened, freezing a ball of ice in his palm.

"Ichigo stop being retarded!" Rukia shouted. "Leave Hitsugaya Taichou alone and shut your face!" She puffed.

"Sucking up by calling him by his title, eh?" Ichigo mumbled. Rukia shot him a glare before inhaling loudly and trying to pick up another piece of paper.

"Yeah, seriously Ichigo," Matsumoto saw her cue on how to mess with them and took it without hesitation. "Let them concentrate! This takes a lot of sucking power!" She smirked with a dirty smile. Hinamori giggled a bit and dispelled the shapes all over the table. Matsumoto's trap was set. "Come on you two! Suck harder!" She went on. Rukia nearly fell over with laughter.

"S-Stop it, Matsumoto-san!" She panted.

"What?" Said lieutenant asked innocently. "I'm urging you guys on! I'm supporting you!"

"I-It just sounds…" Rukia could not finish for she was laughing too much.

"Stop talking! You have to keep sucking! You'll never get anywhere like that!"

"M-Matsumoto-san…" Hinamori gasped. By this time, she and Rukia were on the floor, the game completely forgotten and the straws and papers ignored.

"What?" She smirked. "Oh I get it! My, my I never would have guessed that Rukia-chan and Momo-chan would have such perverted minds! You're almost as bad as me!" She exclaimed, quite enjoying watching her plot unfold.

"I don't think that's possible." Rukia wheezed.

"Come on!" Rangiku pressed. "Aren't you going to suck _more_?" Rukia and Hinamori collapsed to the floor laughing hysterically.

It took the boys a moment to comprehend everything.

"M-MATSUMOTO!" Hitsugaya's furious and embarrassed holler shook the room as soon as he understood. Ichigo simply stood silently, his eyebrow twitching.

But Rangiku was immune to her captain's accusations as she joined in with the other girls' laughter. She continued making jokes and Rukia and Hinamori were getting shorter and shorter on breath. Finally, Hinamori managed to gather enough oxygen.

"M-M-Matsumoto-sa-san, p-please stop. I-I can't breathe…" She gasped. Matsumoto looked at the two girls, Rukia lying on her stomach and unable to stop laughing and Hinamori lying on her back panting madly.

"Fine." She caved, dropping her jokes.

After a few moments, Rukia and Hinamori sat up. Ichigo, Rukia and Hitsugaya were all blushing with embarrassment while Matsumoto just smirked. Hinamori, on the other hand, being innocent was confused.

"Why is everyone so red?" She asked softly. She could understand why Rukia was flushed since she was laughing so much but not the boys…

"Ah, Momo-chan!" Matsumoto sighed, kneeling down next to her and lying her arm across her shoulders. "You're so naive! Do you want me to tell you the joke?" She asked. Hitsugaya straightened up.

"Matsumoto!" He shouted for what seemed the 100th time that day. He was fed up with her and was not going to taint his best friend's mind with such perverted thoughts.

"All right, all right." The orange haired woman stood up and backed away.

Hitsugaya snorted and knelt down next to Hinamori. He pulled her arm around his shoulders and helped the shaky girl stand. Ichigo, recovered from the scene, reached his hand down to help Rukia to her feet.

"Okay." Rukia exhaled. "I guess we don't want to play anymore games?" She guessed.

All of them nodded in agreement. The five of them just stood there for a moment of awkward silence.

"…So…" Ichigo attempted to start a conversation. "…How's life?" No one answered and he felt like a total idiot, they just stared at him without humor.

The smoke machine in the corner of the room went off just then and gray clouds puffed throughout the room. For a second, they all just stood there until Rukia coughed once. Then Hinamori coughed and before they knew it they were all coughing insanely. Ichigo opened the window and the smoke slowly drifted away. Then the room was silent again.

"…"

"…"

"…Well _that_ was random." Matsumoto commented.

"Yeah," Hitsugaya found his chance to try to escape. "Well, _I'm _gonna go get some fresh air." And without another word he dashed out the door with his shunpou.

"M-Me too." Hinamori agreed slipping out after him. Matsumoto blinked and just left the room. Ichigo and Rukia exchanged a glance.

"They're not coming back."

"Nope."

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Meanwhile, Hitsugaya raced out of the 13th division's exit door and headed for his own barracks.

"Hitsugaya-kun, where are you going?" Hinamori asked, although she already knew the answer.

"I'm going as _far _away from here as I can!" He called over his shoulder.

"Wait, taichou!" Rangiku appeared in front of him. "The fun's just begun!" She smiled evilly. He scowled.

"This is all _your _fault you damn pervert!" He hissed to her under his breath.

"What ever are you talking about, taichou?" She asked innocently.

"You know damn well what!" He growled. "You and you're stupid pranks are-!"

"Aww! How sweet! Taichou cares about Momo-chan's virginity!"

"Matsumoto I swear if you don't run as fast as you can _right now_ so help me I'll-!"

"Hey! Hey! What's all the yelling about?" Hinamori interrupted. "And why are you blushing Hitsugaya-kun?" She added, taking in his expression.

"Oh, nothing." Matsumoto answered. "He was just concerned about your-"

_"MATSUMOTO!!" _Hitsugaya yowled.

"Uh-oh! I'd better go! See you, Momo-chan!" And with that she was gone.

Hitsugaya had the look on his face that implied that he was going to do something illegal to his lieutenant the next time he saw her.

"H-Hitsugaya-k-kun," Hinamori stammered, half frightened. "What was she talking about? What were you concerned about?"

"Nothing." He grumbled, turning his face away and hiding his blush.

"Well, either way, I don't think you should go back home just yet. I don't want you to hurt her..." The chestnut-eyed girl stepped back towards the 13th Squad building. After a moment, Hitsugaya caved in.

"Fine." He reluctantly followed her back inside. When the two of them reached the room, Hinamori carefully avoided stepping on the doormat and Hitsugaya followed her lead. Once they walked inside, they were met with two flustered and bickering Shinigami.

"Oh, yeah?" Ichigo was smirking. "Well what came first, the rooster or the egg?"

"The egg!" Rukia smirked.

"No! The rooster laid the egg!" Ichigo corrected smugly.

"_Roosters_ don't lay eggs, _genius_!" She mocked. Ichigo opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again and bowed his head in defeat.

"Ha!" Rukia laughed triumphantly. Ichigo mumbled something inaudible. Hitsugaya just blinked, uninterested.

"I don't want to know." He said simply, turning around to leave for good this time.

"H-Hitsugaya-kun! Wait!" Hinamori called after him. She turned around to her friend. "Thanks for inviting us, Kuchiki-san! I had a great time. Even though I didn't understand half the jokes…" She smiled childishly.

"Ah, Hinamori fukuutaichou," Rukia sighed. "You're so cute and innocent… It's a shame that Matsumoto fukuutaichou will most likely corrupt your mind and make you twisted one day." She shook her head from side to side. Hinamori gasped.

"I-Is that what happened to you, Kuchiki-san?" She whispered.

"Probably, I don't remember." She confessed. "That was a long time ago and all I remember was that there was me, Matsumoto-san and a bottle of sake."

"Oh my gosh!" Hinamori gaped. "And you were trapped with her like that?" Rukia nodded solemnly. "I'm so sorry." She bowed her head in half-sarcastic sympathy.

"I just hope it doesn't happen to _you_ that way." Rukia sighed. Hinamori gulped.

Just then, their conversation was interrupted by an impatient shout.

"Oy! Hinamori! Do you plan on _leaving _anytime soon?" The white haired captain asked.

"Yo, Toshiro, chill out and let 'em talk." Ichigo defended his girlfriend.

"I was _going _to inform you how to address me, _again_, but now I have a new question; was that 'chill out' comment supposed to be funny?" He asked threateningly, forming a frozen block of ice in his hand.

"W-W-Wait! N-No! T-That was total coincidence! It just rolls off the tongue, you know?" Ichigo stammered, backing away.

"Oh-kay, Shiro-chan! Let's get going now!" Hinamori grabbed his arm and tried to pull the enraged captain towards the door. Hitsugaya stopped his assault on the other boy.

"Fine." He spat, tearing his arm from her grasp, whirling around and stomping out the door.

"W-Wait, Shiro-chan! Bye Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki-kun!" She added before she followed her friend out the door.

As the door slid closed behind her, Rukia and Ichigo both heard the maniacal laughter of the doormat and a second afterwards they heard Hinamori gasp in surprise and then some stumbling and tripping.

Ichigo and Rukia stood in silence for a moment before Ichigo remarked.

"Well _that _was A Failed Attempt At A Party."

"Yep!" Rukia agreed. "Can't wait till next month!"

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**A/N: Yeah I know it was not my best, but it was SOOOO funny! You HAD to be there...**

**Please review!!**

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